To Those Who Long To Be A Mother

    Mother's day is right around the corner. And there are constant reminders everywhere of what I want so bad to be but can't. A mother. Now I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything. I'm not saying I don't have an amazing mother to celebrate this coming Sunday, because I do. I'm just pointing out that for a fraction of the world, Mother's Day is sometimes a hard holiday.
    If you're like me, 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility. And, to put it bluntly, it's hard. Just recently I have had a handful of friends on facebook announce their pregnancies, and another handful have their first babies. My news feed is filled with baby pictures and ultrasounds. And while I'm so happy for all of my friends, I'm sad for me. We've been trying for a baby more or less for almost a year now.  And more often than not I feel that it's very unfair that all my other friends have been blessed with a baby.
    So to all of you who are struggling this mothers day like me,  to all those who long to be a mother, YOU ARE WONDERFUL. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  And YOU MATTER TOO. You also deserve to be celebrated this week.  If nothing else,  celebrate yourself. You are so amazing for doing everything physically possible to have a child for the benefit of your family.  You go through so much and sacrifice so much in hopes of someday being a mother.
     And you know what? It's ok to get jealous sometimes.  And it's ok that you hurt over this.  And it's ok if you break down every once in awhile because this is hard.  This easily one of the hardest things I've ever been through. It's ok to ask God "why me?" every once in awhile.  It's ok to walk through the baby isles when you go shopping,  just to look.  It's ok to get angry and upset when you see another negative pregnancy test. Because that hurts.

     You are amazing for forcing that smile and congratulating your friend on her pregnancy.  You are amazing for taking a calling in the church working with other people's children.  You are awesome taking the time to listen to other people's struggles because, in a way,  you know what it's like. You know pain and heartache more than a lot of women your age. You know sacrifice, you are currently sacrificing so much for your family.
     So Happy Mother's Day. Because you are definitely a mother in my eyes.  Celebrate yourself a little this week and keep up this hope that someday you will hold your baby in our arms and we will know that all this heartache and struggle was worth it. Happy Mother's Day.  You still deserve the world!